Or as the Italians say (and I love it, it sounds so much better) Piano, piano….
When I am in Italy, I spend most of my time there saying ‘piano, piano or parla piano piano per favore!”
First steps…..Is there a right time? Maybe, maybe not. Personally I think there is a time for everyone to stop but that does not mean it will be easier to stop but it just feels right and like you are supposed to. I am a big believer in Karma. I know it sounds stupid but when i stopped this time, something felt different, it really did.
First steps are different for each person and I think this is why many smoking cessation methods fail as they are geared up for the mass population and not tailored for the individual. You need to think what is BEST for YOU and look at individual methods and write the pros and cons FOR YOU on each method. Look at what has happened in the past, what methods you used, why you failed. YOU NEED TO BE VERY HONEST HERE. There is no room for allowing yourself to justify things. It is not about self-flagellation, it is about trying to discover what did not work and why. So you need to go ” Ok, stop smoking classes didn’t work for me as i felt the support was missing something (don’t need to go because the man next to me was a moron). Fine, write that down and think about what was ok with it, if anything. If you keep doing a method that never works, maybe it is not you that fails but the method suitability. You need to find a method that is more suitable to you. Do you get me? BUT this is not an excuse either. NO MORE EXCUSES. STOP IT. JUST SAY, I SMOKE BECAUSE I CAN’T STOP (don’t add an excuse, don’t excuse yourself, just face it) . Enough said….
For example, I find it very difficult to learn through reading text books or manuals, which is strange as i read books at an alarming rate. I need to do things to get them fixed in my brain. So when learning a new software programme at work, i need to do it, not read it .I know for me to learn any other way sets me up for failure, so i don;t do that method as it is a waste of time and all it does (well not now but used to) is damage my confidence in my ability to do anything. I didn’t use one way to stop smoking, i made a program that i thought would best suit me and what I wanted. This is why I think i succeeded this time because I didn’t set myself up to fail by doing something I could not do or had failed many times before.
In a way, these first steps is like laying a foundation. Start thinking about some of the following things… (and reread the “Are you ready” post?)
I think if people who have stopped smoking thought about who helped them stop, they would say so and so did or this method did or these patches did . They should say THEY DID!! They did, themselves, You, You, You!! You did, not the scientists, not the books, not the courses, not the pills or the nicotine replacement stuff………………YOU DID. At the end of the day, these items do NOT stop for you, they may ASSIST you BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOP!! YOU, YOU, YOU!! Ok, get that? Until you get that, forget about it……………..You need to realise that the only one who can stop you smoking is you. I know I go on and on about the shite services for smokers now, yet they are better than they were but they are still not like it is for alcoholics and junkies, yet more smokers die each year and we all know nicotine is more addictive……….I am not going to spout figures at you, ok? It is a well-known fact that nicotine is the most addictive substance there is. SEE ANOTHER RANT….. but you are the only one who can stop you smoking. Yes, I know addiction changes part of your brain chemistry or your brain chemistry works differently than non addicts but ask yourself then why can some people stop and others can’t? I think we just rely too much on blaming others when we can’t stop……………Like I say, the services for smokers are crap compared to drug services BUT they are all services, they will not stop, you still have to do the actual stopping. Yes , its nice to have support and all other things to help you BUT at the end of the day, if you don’t succeed you just give yourself another reason as to why you can’t stop…………..
As I have said in prior posts, One of the best weight loss coaches is Michelle Bridges. She is the trainer for the Biggest loser in Australia. I used her book to lose 5 kilos, my husband has lost 15-20 kilos using her programme. Now the reason I mention Michelle is that she states something very similar to what I have said above. Stop with the bullshit and the excuses and just do it. Now that may seem harsh but that’s the reality of smoking and weight loss too. You want to stop then do it and stop whining.
Yes, its hard but believe me, if I can do it and I was the biggest whiner and excuse maker of all time. It was never ever me, there was always a reason why I couldn’t stop but it wasn’t my fault. We want people to pat our hands and go ” its ok, mate, at least you tried”. In reality our mates should say, well you have no balls, get some balls and stop smoking/ eating/drinking what ever it is we do and don’t want to do, stop whingeing and do something. Give us a kick up the arse.
See the thing is we allow ourselves to fail. As long as we try, then we think its ok.Yes, it is good to try but it’s not ok to smoke. You know I am not a rabid ex smoker that snarls at smokers. Most of the time the smell makes me ill now but I still look at the smokers with envy that they can enjoy their smokes, but they probably don’t. If you said to me I could smoke with no repercussions, I would. But it doesn’t work that way and I am not prepared to chance it and increase my chance of dying of cancer. You know I always say to my mates, if I get lung cancer in my 60/70’s I am going to be mighty pissed off, I like to think that there is some reward for not smoking and having the guts to say no every day.
The reason I don’t smoke now is that it really was so hard to stop, that I never ever want to have to do that again EVER. Now don’t read that and think, “ oh shit, that’s great!!” and then go smoke heaps because you think you will never be able to stop. YOU CAN!! I am been honest ok, I am not soft coating it, saying its a bit hard, IT FUCKING ISNT. It is the hardest thing I ever did.These lick asses that say it was a breeze, i want to kill :), they rank up there with the closet smokers and 1-2 a week smokers!!! GRRRRRRRR More on all that later..
Giving birth, stttttttttzzzzzzzz, nothing compared to this. Why ??? why , why, why?? I hear you asking ” is she trying to depress me more??”. Puff, Puff, Puff ……………I’m not trying to make you smoke more, or depress you but merely been honest ok? As so many people are not and then when you stop and its like “well when do the fairies and rose-coloured glasses kick in?” Well mate, they don’t!! I really thought(and don’t laugh) there would be some kickback or really good thing to make it easier for me or one day, a switch would go on and the cravings and all the other crap would just disappear (ha in a puff of smoke?) but it doesn’t. I still have the odd (and it is very odd) craving where just for an instant, I want to smoke and the craving is as intense as always but now, i know by the time I blink, that thought will be gone. So its more like a quick twist of the guts:). You have an addiction and you need to treat it as such and even though i go on and on about being honest, you also need to be kind to yourself and as i said above piano, piano…… There is no chocolates, fairies, people making allowances for you, people thinking you are great.
Sorry, but they don’t. But take this from it, it has made me never start again. I am not saying that it will be that way for you, you may choose nicotine replacement (and i will get into that later), you may find it a breeze but for me it was physical BUT mainly mental torture. Me torturing myself of course. Could I have made it easier? Who knows……………
BE REAL IN YOUR EXPECTATIONS…BUT NOT NEGATIVE!! There is a difference…
Have a think and see what you reckon…
Do a list of what could be workable for you..
Stay strong and have a good one:)
The peacock strutting around that you can do yourself is great!!
Saying to yourself, “I am a non smoker” ha ha ha- I used to say it as i couldn’t believe it 🙂