GRRRRR!! in fact double GRRRR!!! GRRRR!!!
SMOKES AND WEIGHT!!
Why are these two things so tormenting? You know I thought when I stopped smoking , I could use the same principles to weight loss but NOPE, NOPE, NOPE! Not a chance in hell.
What annoys me the most with weight is that you try hard and it still pisses you off.
The silly thing about all this is that I still think to some degree that I will be rewarded for stopping smoking in my weight loss endevours!! Ha, ha, ha , what a joke!! No, there has been no good karma on that front!!
For example, I am doing this 12 week fitness challenge. The exercise each day is really hard (yes, that is what i wanted and needed) and you are on a lower calorie allowance than usual which means I feel tired and exhausted but I am doing it. I expect because I am doing what I should, my results should be good!! BUT BUT BUT …….
Yesterday, its weigh in day, all good!! Best day ever, you all know the feeling!!!
Yay, yay, yay!! Lost .9kg, then today, and I know weight fluctuates and every other story and i shouldnt weigh myself every day but I do and what happens! I FUCKING WEIGH MORE THAN 1 KG HEAVIER THAN YESTERDAY!!! IN like 14 hours!! and I have eaten enough for a sparrow and run my arse off!! Now as I said, I know all the reasonable explanations BUT I DON’T CARE!! I want those bastard scales to weigh less or the same each day!
Yes, I know I shouldnt weigh every day BUT I DO!!
Weight has as much as a grip on me as smokes did , at times!! Sometimes I think WHO CARES!! I will eat what I like!! Then I usually have a bingy sugary and salty trip for a week or so and then feel yucky so I go back to my normally pretty good eating. The thing though with this , as i usually don’t gain any weight from this period of eating rubbish!! Yet as soon as I eat clean again, what happens??? I gain weight!! It is sooooooooo FRUSTRATING!! Why can’t I flick it off like smokes? Well, it wasn’t quite that easy but you know what i mean. I know this is insane thinking, yet I still persist in allowing a pair of scales or how my pants fit to rule my life. I have on occasion found really nice clothing but it has been a size larger than I normally wear (as we all know how sizes vary) ,well, I won’t buy it!! My husband says ” no one else knows” and I know that but I KNOW!! That is where the problem lies….
Bloody big GRRRRRRRR!! and a few F&^&ks for good measure!!
Why are we never happy with our weight? Do you know any one who is happy with their weight? Why does society constantly make us think all things are judged by weight or how we look? You know apart from stopping smoking, when I lose weight, it’s the best high ever. Most actions pale in comparison to weight loss and the most pathetic thing is, is that we are talking 1-3 kgs max………That is so SAD!!
Why do we allow society to dictate that we feel that way? I can go out feeling good and then I see someone I perceive to be smaller than me and suddenly, I don’t feel good and I feel that people also then think I am a heifer!! It is just insane. I look at my youngest son , 12, who is a normal sized gangly boy, now to my eyes he is small but I am his height and smaller than him but in my eyes, I am not like that at all……..I am about 10 sizes larger!! Insane!!
With that mouthful, I shall bid you arrivederci for the day!!
Have a GREAT SMOKE FREE day!!