Why are women like this? Not all women, but some…. And they try to veil it as being funny or nice when it is blatantly not. Or that they are being “supportive”, when really it is an opportunity to make others feel bad. This is prevalent in stop smoking and weight loss communities!!
To make ourselves feel better, we need to knock others down?>? Is that so when we fail, at least we have other people who will fail too? But is not usually men….maybe they play another game all together??
Here is some examples of what I mean …
I belong to a few smoking blogs, well quitting blogs and I always try to leave supportive comments on them and interesting links to other articles that may be interesting or inspiring in some way. Some times it is humorous, sometimes it is serious.
The other day I posted on here and on one of the smoking blogs , a link to the article http://skepticdetective.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/hypnosis-and-acupuncture-to-quit-smoking/ of the woman who stopped smoking because she didn’t want to pay money to the KKK.
While the article was serious, you had to take it with a light heart if you know what I mean but these people on the smoking blog started ranting on about “how you can’t stop for that reason and you need to stop for yourself’ and you can imagine it!! Bloody hell, its like get a sense of humour and as long as you stop who cares what you did to stop ??? Personally I bloody hate NRT but if you stop that way, good on you, I wouldn’t tear you down because of it!!
As I have said I am doing a fitness challenge at the moment. A great many of the people are unfit, overweight or obese but the point of the group is to be supportive. There is one woman on there and she is constantly writing things that are how fabulously fit and skinny she is but when you think about the others in the group, it’s not supportive for them , it probably makes them feel worse. It is good to love yourself but there is such a thing as modesty and appropriateness as well 🙂
She writes how fabulous her 8km run was, and it was easy and she felt euphoric!” That’s great but you could say “I had a run, it was euphoric because………” But you don’t need to go into specific numbers which make the people who walk or can’t run feel like crap or people who have started running and feel good, then read that and feel like useless!! Now I run further than that daily but I am mindful that others don’t and until asked specifics, I just say ” Did my run today, all good ” or “did my run, did longer than normal, yippee!!”
Or the best one and the most sensitive of all areas for women – WEIGHT!!!
Our lovely supportive member writes , (REMEMBER THIS IS WEEK ONE WHERE WE HAVE JUST STARTED so no startling transformations as yet) ” Oh, I went into a dress shop and I felt my size 25 pants were too loose!! I had to get a size 24 ( which is the size Victoria Beckham wears), who knows I maybe able to get into a size smaller soon with all my running and I just wanted to share it with you all as I know you will be happy for me”!!
What the hell do you say to that?? Talk about love myself !!
Now the average women in NZ would wear probably 30-36 pants/skirts!! So how do you think that makes most people feel? Especially as most of the people in this group would be a size 14 + ?? You know, it is that not thinking arseyness, that I hate and has really annoyed me. I think it is great to be proud of yourself and especially in this later on when people have these wonderful transformations and are proud (and rightly so) but for people who are just starting and not yet gained confidence in themselves, it’s a bit off-putting and self promoting.
Hmmmm, this now makes me wonder am I being a tall poppy chopper? No, that person is arrogant!! It is prevalent when you try to stop a nasty habit or be a better person, people always want to knock you back but that is different to just wanting to say how fabulous you are when it brings others down. What is it with the tall poppy syndrome ?(http://www.kiwianarama.co.nz/tall-poppy-syndrome/)
Why can’t we be pleased with people without having to be nasty or toot our own trumpet? I know its hard, believe me!! I have seen friends lose weight and be skinnier than me and i have smiled and been nice but in my head I am thinking “bitch”!! How stupid is that? But I would never say anything like that out loud. Outwardly I be as supportive as possible because I know how important support is and can be!
Or people who stop smoking, that is chronic, where smokers are so supportive of you when you SLIP!! And they seem to like you better when you slip up as well. I have asked this before and it is like a relief when someone stumbles in stopping smoking or drinking because its like there is a quota or something and if that person stuffs up, then there is less chance that I will as well? It is like only so many people can succeed. It certainly doesn’t work like that but it can feel like it I suppose.
Or is it just plain old JEALOUSY?? or is it fear the other people will leave us behind if they succeed and we don’t? Or is it we will be forced to give up our nasty habits before time?
Hmmm ponderings for tomorrow!!
Have a GREAT SMOKE FREE DAY!!