I had an epiphany!!
No, I didn’t but thought I would redesign the blog a bit, while keeping the stop smoking information but move on to writing about more ‘positive’ things that I like.
Things that help me stay stopped and help me run from that black dog that is really getting on my wick of late.
Now the reason for all this is that I stopped running about 2 months ago and basically I feel very BLAH!!
My beautiful ginger boy, Mr T, died of a brain tumour 6 weeks ago and this has not helped.
Eating more rubbish than normal and just feel yucky, I feel my defenses to smoking slightly waning in the fact I have been thinking about smoking more and more….
and the black dog creeps closer and closer to me…
I know it sounds mental but you can almost feel the blackness looming…
Usually my ginger boy, in my blackest days, would cheer me up but he is not here and now I need to learn how to run from the black dog and the smokes without him.
You would think after 5 years not smoking, the desire would go away BUT IT FUCKING doesn’t!!
This my friends , is my test now, as things are pretty crap…
I tell you if I could have smoked on the day I had to put my sweet boy to sleep, I would have…By some god miracle, I didn’t…
So starting tomorrow, each day I will log my runs, well each day I run, and other things…
maybe this will help.I brought a new pair of running shoes so eager to get into them:)
I will run for my beautiful boy, who used to run down the street to meet me every day, my beautiful friend who died of cancer two years ago, for those who would love to run but aren’t able to but most of all….
I will run for myself!!
It will be hard to start slow but if I don’t I will injure myself and that will be WORSE!!!
I want to run But i want to run and run and run and run but need to go slow…..
Wish me luck!!
and run, run, run 🙂