Why, O Why are we always ….



Or am I just a miserable fucker?

I love this quote by Dr Seuss….

I do love the Cat in the hat and the Grinch.

“Just tell yourself, Duckie, you’re real quite lucky.”

dr seuss

dr seuss 2

Granted that when you meet people that are eternally happy and chipper you want to slap them as they are annoying and you wonder if they take valium or something.

Gone on, you do wonder, I do!!

I am not saying we need to be like that but why are we not happy or  satisfied ?

I do feel at times if I be too happy then the ‘fates’ will jinx me…

They (the fates) will look at me and go…”Too happy, lets send something shitey to her!!”..

WTF!! Dumb….

images (100)Sometimes I feel it is naive to expect good in people but then is it also naive to expect badness or wrongdoing too?

Or are we better not to expect things then people will not disapoint you?

Is it in our genes or is it just us as a people?

Is it a trait that is solely attributable to humans , do you suppose?

Is it that we don’t savior what we have and look too much at what OTHERS have and feel that we should have it?


What do you think?

Like I have said before, I have plenty of BLISS and good things.

I know they exist BUT it is all the BUTS….

Does that make sense?

Like I will run 10 km and I feel good and happy but I will go to myself, “Why didn’t you do 12?” …

See !! NOT HAPPY with what I did!!


I have a Prada and Louis Vuitton bags in my bag collection but I still want another Prada or LV bag…

See!!  NOT HAPPY with what I have:)

I have a decent husband who loves me but I think he likes girls with big tits and fat thighs and doesn’t really mean it when he says he loves me or says nice things.

See!! NOT HAPPY….Why think things like that when there has never been an indication of liking big titty girls?

Really, who could like cheapo slags like this????

Really, who could like cheapo slags like this????

I will fit into my clothes etc but I will still think…”Well you could wear a 24 0r 25 if you were more disciplined…

See!! Why think ugly things?

Is it Tall Poppy Syndrome ? ( NZ’s are good at tearing people down, including ourselves )



I am grateful and happy with my health and fitness….

I thank God every day…

Although I seem not grateful, I am, I am, I am!!

This is why I wonder why do I then go “yes, grateful” on one hand, yet turn around and go “but…..” on the other?


I have been reading mini CBT books by Chris Williams .

Chris Williams is a professor of Psychiatry @ the University of Glasgow.

He is affliated with the Mental Health Foundation in the UK and writes CBT books to help you feel better, stop thinking ugly things etc.

One of the things I have started on his advice was to make a list.


YES, a list, very ominous sounding.

It is a list of good things about myself so when I think ugly things, I can look at my list…

And say to myself…. “That is nice that so and so can do that, but I am me and I can do this or I am good at “…..

Or go to myself  “What evidence do I have that (ugly thoughts) that is true?”.

Baby steps:)


2013 miles/km Challenge: April Month Total : 

Running : 146.5km / 91.56 miles

Cycling: 76.3km

Rowing : 4 km

Weights: 7 .00 hrs

Hiking : Zilch so far:)

Plyometrics: in with the weights

Yoga: 3 hour

Hours : 25.30

Monthly Distance: 226.8 km / 141.75 miles


“It was being a runner that mattered, not how fast or how far I could run.

The joy was in the act of running and in the journey, not in the destination.

We have a better chance of seeing where we are when we stop trying to get somewhere else.

We can enjoy every moment of movement, as long as where we are is as good as where we’d like to be.

That’s not to say that you need to be satisfied forever with where you are today.

But you need to honor what you’ve accomplished, rather than thinking of what’s left to be done (p. 159).”
― John BinghamNo Need for Speed: A Beginner’s Guide to the Joy of Running

2 thoughts on “Why, O Why are we always ….

  1. I think you’re just a miserable mofo! Just joking, I think we’re all the same in some ways. I’m always getting asked “what’s wrong with you?” I’ve just got a miserable face!

    • strangely enough, people when they find i have depression or feel blue always say “really ??? , You are always so happy, smiley and willing to help others…..What is it they say??? The builder always has the worst house in the street??? So the counsellor always has the worst state of mind then:) ha ha…Only the hubby has the pleasure of seeing me meh like:)..And you guys hear about it…

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