What do you hate about Xmas the most?

All of it, I hear you say!!

You need an AWESOME list!!

Go for an AWESOME run!!

We shall get onto that shortly…(tomorrow, promise, the AWESOME list!)

Yep, I know Xmas can be a bit overwhelming and quite often you don’t feel awesome..

And what about the people who feel lonely?

Check out Live more Awesome, cause there are tips there to help you feel less crap or look at the pink tutu man.

In fact you usually feel like strangling people at least until the 3rd or 4th STRONG drink kicks in.. Continue reading


Ivan Miller, NZ Writer….

I have known Ivan all my life…

He is a spectacular writer and artist and I don’t say this cause he is my lambie boy!

Top of Lucca’s walls

Now I know you are looking at the photo of Lucca and going WHAT???

It all will become abundantly clear shortly….. Continue reading

A little lightheartedness for today……

And some food for the soul… http://greedybread.wordpress.com/

I love bread..I think they are my new smokes:) but so much healthier.

And it is acceptable (TOTALLY) to fill the cakehole with bread for a while when you stop 🙂

Its part of being kind to oneself whilst stopping:) I Insist!!

Check this out!! look at the food…………hmmmmm


Yes, now a very ugly ugly bit!!

shhhhhhhh Exercise!! Argh…

This is so me !!

No way to make this pretty I am afraid and i know when I say this to you now, you will go WHATEVER!!!  ” Hello, what planet is she on?” or “goody-goody lick arse!!”

There are some VERY VERY VERY and just in case you have not got it yet, VERY ugly bits in stopping smoking and this for many is one of them.

Exercise will save your sanity at times when you stop smoking.

Ha ha , Like this is real!!

The two lovely smiley ladies above, well what a crock of shit!! One I have never looked that good running, wore pants like that (the shorts are ok) running  and if I did, well, I wouldn’t be running and am I happy when I exercise?? Are you real? No, I am not bloody happy or smiling when I am exercising. But I do have to add in a small exception here and you will need to forgive me.

I do OCCASIONALLY smile to myself when I run. If I run an especially hard bit or i feel like stopping and my self-help talk (which is usually “run, piggy, run” or “Do you want that bloody cake at home? well run!!” err very positive. ) has helped :), then I do get this odd feeling of joy. Do I smile when I finish any exercise? you bet and it’s a genuine smile then too. Especially if I have done my weights, I HATE WEIGHT EXERCISES.GRRRRRRRR!!I love running, I really do but the rest, nah, you can take it and bugger off!! Why do I like running? not sure, just do. Lets me think I suppose and you CAN NOT SMOKE being a runner. I used to run before i stopped smoking but it was very much a like but mostly hate thing as smoking and running are not good mates. But once, I flicked the fags, it was love at, well not first run, but maybe love on the occasional run.

Exercise, it takes your mind off the smokes and you do feel better after a while it gives you a kick too!! You may even replace one addiction for another. 🙂 I found the exercise really helped me,  it meant for 30-90 mins, I didn’t think about smoking and in the early days, that’s important as sometimes it comes down to getting through the next minute, the next 5 minutes or maybe an hour if you are strong. People say take it day by day, fuck thinking of the next day or later that day, it’s the here and now with stopping smoking sometimes. You have to take it at times in small small portions so it’s not overwhelming. At times,when I stopped when something bad would happen or irritate me, I would get that feeling of wanting a cigarette so bad, had I been in a position to for that split second(and that is all it is) I would have probably taken them because you almost lose all reasoning.If a dirty old drunk had said “give me a blowjob for a smoke” , I would have. But remember what I said, its a split second but it FEELS like forever. Once I recall wanting a cigarette so badly if I hadn’t been running for a bus and I needed to get that bus, I would have got down on my knees and cried, that’s how intense that craving was, so I know what that horrible, horrible wanting is like but you know you can beat it, I did and you can too.

How true!!

So what to do? Find something you like. Walking, weights, dancing, pole dancing, line-dancing, stairmasters, skipping, playing with kids at park, rugby, what ever, what ever, whatever !! What is important is something you like or may like and will take your mind off smoking for that time. Plus have to say, makes you feel good, helps you lose that smoking weight and even means you can eat more sometimes!! and its only 60-90 minutes a day.

Just go and do some, you don’t need to run. I run as it’s totally about being alone and I like to challenge myself to do better and better which I can do with running…….but I have to concentrate on the running so there’s no time for the smoke thoughts. Exercise doesn’t have to be about torture as when you stop smoking, that will do it for you JGet something you like, you know even walking but something you like, join a group, who knows, it’s up to you but it will make you feel better and like I said distract you.

So tomorrow I will look at first steps to stopping……if I don’t get sidetracked and we talk about something else…

Off to eat my Kuchen I made…………..apple, apricot and almond kuchen…..and it TASTES fabulous!!

Have a good one!