Grrrrr !! The Daily Rant:

Something to take your mind off the fags for a few minutes …

Imagine it if you will!!

Cold, cold night, nice toasty bed, man fast asleep, one cat in middle of the bed and another on the pillow….LOVELY PICTURE…What is wrong here you may ask?

See, its not as if they have no where to sleep.

Where the bloody hell am i supposed to sleep?

My cats, god love them, have decided the last 3 nights in a row to take up these positions on our bed, no matter that they have lovely bean bags to sleep in by the heater, or specific chairs with pillows on the chairs for them or cat beds in the hot water cupboard which is left slightly ajar for them….The cats often sleep with us in winter but not in these positions.Usually we just have no end of the bed or we both have a small sliver of each side while the cats stretch out in the middle HORIZONTALLY!!

I manage to get into bed after gently getting myself a little head space on my pillow from Mr T, who looks at me as if I have booted him off the bed.I haven’t I promise, I had slightly moved HIS pillows (not for one minute did I think they were my pillows)

See!! this is a nice version of the “look”

You all know that look if you have cats!! Mr Puss puss (first photo) doesn’t have that look, he has the sad cat look….I digress…

I manage to get into bed on my small edge of the pillow and miniscule amount of the bed, because cats NEVER EVER lie in the same direction as you, they ALWAYS lie across the bed, taking as much room as cat possible!! This is in the cat rule book. Amidst the cats and husband snoring (and believe me, there is NO thought of conjugal relations as we can’t even reach each other with the great cat divide) and I think “oh well at least it is warm”. Sadly for me, i really need it to be quiet when I sleep as I am a bad sleeper and i need room as well. On nights when hubby has been away and the cats have the whole of the other side of the bed to stretch out on, they still lie as close as possible to me and take up all my space !! Grrrrrr

As you can see, NO comfy places to sleep.

Just as I am drifting off to sleep, one of two things will happen. The licking, biting and scratching will start. Now I am all for cat grooming but at 2 or 4am?? Errr no.

If I am really lucky, it will be cats deciding to groom each other and then fight or maybe it will just be limited to the individual grooming and no fighting.This will not be a mild lick or groom, no, it will be a full on shake my head on the pillow scratching or a sounding like a pig in slops bucket licking noise. Urgh, not great at the best of time but in the wee small hours, not funny!! I will glare at the one on the pillow and say to Mr Puss puss to stop but they just ignore me, so usually I get up and go and sleep in the lounge. Not with my pillows either, wouldn’t think of doing that. That would start the cold war!!

While this is all going on, hubby is snoring away, the man could sleep while we were being robbed as long as they didn’t attempt to take his iPad on his drawers. If they were to do that, the coma like state would cease!! He says to me, ” kick the bloody cats off the bed” but that is just impossible. If I am feeling particularly risqué, I will place them at the end of the bed but that usually ends up with me having a cat sitting as close as possible to my face, err on their pillow, glaring at me in the dark. I can feel the glaring vibes or I KNOW I will wake up with cat bum in my face as retribution 🙂

Last night, I got up and finished making my bread I was doing and tonight if I am lucky, they will decide to sleep in the bean bags!! Not that I don’t love them……………..just not the licking:)  Don’t even get me started on the other 2 furbies we have ………….

Have a great smoke free day!!